It's Back! Back! BACK!!! The Genius of Smash Hits

To celebrate the special Michael Jackson commemorative issue of "Smash Hits" that's being sold next week, I thought I'd trawl the internet to see if I could find some old issues of the magazine that was my fortnightly bible during the 80's. And hey - guess what? There's not much to be found documenting this esteemed journal of pop. But trawling auction sites I did find these glorious examples. This isn't going to be an indepth look at the magazine, just poking a bit of fun at 80's fashions and hair - it's a journey which is more of a celebration of the highs and lows of the amazing world of (SNIIIIIP! that's enough - ED).

In the beginning the mag was a monthly humourless affair, full of song lyrics and posters of Plastic Bertrand or Sham 69. But as it sold well it was decided to make it fortnighly and therefore more up to date with the charts.

This was one of my first ever issues. Obviously it was the Squeeze flexidisc that swung it for me. I think I've still got it actually. From this point I bought it on and off until around the start of 1981 when I became a regular for the next eight years. And what years they were readers... ahh, I remember them well (that's enough of that - ED).

To your right we've got a cover from the early days of the mag... and there's no obvious reason why nu-mod one hit wonders Secret Affair were on the cover. What next? The Lambrettas? That was part of the charm of Smash Hits - they'd frequently screw up and feature some band who'd go on to do sod all. Jimmy the Hoover anybody? "Time For Action" was a good stomper, but one good song a career does not make as my great great grandfather never said. Bah! Still, nil desperandum as there's the lyrics to "Don't Bring Me Down" by ELO inside. "Groooose!!" Huzzah! An article on The Who! And Joe Jackson in colour! That'll keep the kids away from the fire.

It doesn't get much better in 1980, really. Bryan Ferry - that's what the kids want. Not to mention pain in the arse Scots funster B.A. Robertson in colour. An article on rockabilly rebels Matchbox and Deptford's finest Squeeze can only hint at the cultural vaccuum that was 1980. But look yonder! Hope is on the horizon, as Orchestral Manoeuvres are also in colour. Plus Human League albums to be won (presumably the excellent "Travelogue"). And of course you can sing along in the playground to Siouxsie & the Banshees "Christine".

Not all bad though. Here's loopy foxtress Kate Bush! All pout and hair. Probably promoting "Wow" or some other bizarre single. Toyah and the Undertones are in colour this ish. Now Toyah... okayyyy, punky popster, fair do's but who wants Feargal Sharkey and the other three in glorious technicolour? Apart from themselves if they need a passport renewing. Also that exciting Phil Lynott article... snore. Basically you'd be just buying this issue for Kate.... phwoar! (That's enough of that Uncle Disgusting! Back to the coal shed with you! - ED)

Moving on to 1981 and a new logo! But still a bit lacking when it comes to proper pop stars. God bless her soul but there's no way that Kirsty MacColl was ever going to be comfortable with being a "pop" star, and she didn't even have a top 10 record but got a front cover. Still, that was Smash Hits, sometimes they had the most unlikely cover stars. And at least it wasn't Crass adorning the cover. Brrrrr.

A classic Adam Ant image adorns this issue's cover, from his "Hoist the Jolly Roger!" era ant output. But behold - what this? Squeeze? Whitesnake? And Linx in colour? Yeah, that's what we need, a bespectacled David Grant poster. Wooo. Good job I didn't buy it for the posters. Except when the lovely Kim Wilde was featured...

And check her out on the cover of this issue from November '81.... errr.... oh dear. She's looking a bit bored, readers. Me thinks she's trying to be sultry but it's not working. Maybe she's parked on a meter. Still the rest of the mag looks a bit more jolly, with the likes of Soft Cell, "Tears Are Not Enough"-era ABC, Altered Images and errr, Gillan. Well, British Heavy Metal was big in 1981, people forget this. It wasn't all New Romantics and eyeliner you know. Hit songs by Haircut 100 - that'll be "Favourite Shirts" then - and Four Tops... because you need those words to "When She Was My Girl". Honest.

To be fair, the magazine hadn't really found it's groove just yet, but the humour was creeping into the mag. Despite Kim's moody face. Here's a poster of her realizing that some sod has put blinds over her bedroom mirror by mistake. Tut. Still, it helps wipe away the memories of those later Holland & Barrett adverts and gardening tips. Oh and "Rocking Around The Christmas Tree".

Oh look. It's Paul & Andy from OMD modelling for the latest Grattan catalogue. Oh that can't be right, this is Smash Hits. The scouse synth duo get a cover feature to tie in with their latest album "Architecture & Morality (& Chunky Knitwear)". It's all getting a bit more swingorilliant though as there's a Dollar interview and Duran Duran in there as well as Adam (no need for the "Ant" I notice at this point) and bloody Squeeze again. In colour no less. I can't imagine who'd want a picture of Squeeze in colour outside of their parents.

Remember Bow Wow Wow? That's right, the ones who used to be the Ants before jumping ship to work with Malcolm McLaren, leaving poor old Adam high and dry, except he went onto be massive and they didn't. Here is a cover featuring their photogenic singer only, Annabella Lwin. Blimey they hadn't even had a hit single at this point, with "Go Wild In The Country" some six months away. Note that Julian Cope & Tenpole Tudor are considered worthy of pin-up status. Sing along to Ultravox's number 14 hit "The Thin Wall", or "Love Action" by ver League ("Well this is Phil talking...)

Oh shit. Who invited Gary Numan to the party? Yep, he was still around in 1981, crashing planes and experimenting with jazz-funk stylings to little commercial success. Still, I actually liked this at the time, but these days the image of Alan Partridge playing air bass-guitar haunts me so we'll move on.
It's looking more popmongous as Depeche Mode, Shaky and Modern Romance are all in colour, Plus that essential Meat Loaf article. Nice to see Simple Minds there, a good year before they went massive.

As 1981 draws to a close there's more signs of poptasticness with Duran in full tea-towel-round-head regalia, a free poster of Adam or The Police or Spandau Ballet (in their "funk" phase. Oh dear) and a Shakin' Stevens comic strip. What the hell was that about then? Good to see Madness in there, they were a constant delight back then, and of course Hazel O'Connor - she was like an early 80's Lady Ga Ga, kids. In that she had also two legs and breasts. Which you could say about chickens. So there you have it. Hazel O'Connor - early 80's poultry.

Still, even in 1981, the pop scene moved pretty fast. Take the case of The Specials. Massive Ska influenced Coventry combo, has number one single of the summer of 81 in "Ghost Town", then disintegrates - less than 4 months later Terry Hall, Neville Staples & Lynval Goulding form Fun Boy Three, the ironically monickered spin-off, and continued to be massive, with firt hit "The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum". Forget the Specials reforming, lets have FB3 back performing. And just look at how happy Terry is in front of the camera, folks.

Before... and after.

In 1981, The Human League had finally kicked their artyness into touch by letting Ian Craig Marsh & Martyn Ware go off and become Heaven 17, whilst Phil stayed behind, recruited a couple of girls from a disco and made the best pop record this side of Abba in the form of "Dare!"., which went on to be massive. As you can tell from the cover of this late 1981 issue, they're overjoyed. Electropop goes from strength to strength, with Japan & Simon Le Bon both in colour within these pages. Beware though, Godley & Creme were also inside, probably promoting that bloody awful "Wedding Bells" single. Hit songs by Bad Manners and ver Quo also. What was the public thinking of?

Moody pop stars eh? Cheer up for God's sake. You could do with taking a leaf out of the book of this lovely lassie...
... Clare Grogan, of Altered Images, who were really the archetypal Smash Hits band. Pop, but had that alternative cred, championed by John Peel, had a single called "Dead Pop Stars", crashed into the chart with the ultra catchy "Happy Birthday", and fitted equally comfortably on "Top Of The Pops" and "The Old Grey Whistle Test". Fab.

And so we leave 1981 behind, and 1982 awaits... when Smash Hits became the mag we remember, when writers such as Mark Ellen, David Hepworth, Dave Rimmer and Neil Tennant were churning out witty insightful pieces every fortnight. And we had decent pop stars who looked the part and were in on the joke.

To be continued...

Kraftwerk: The Man(chester) Machine

So have you ever been to the Manchester Velodrome? And if the answer is yes, did you go to see a rock concert? Chances are the answer is nay. Last night though, we went and we did see a gig. Not just any gig though.

This was Kraftwerk.

And this was a one off gig as part of the opening night of the Manchester International Festival, appropriately for this band held at the National Cycling Centre.

With the Velodrome being situated in the wrong part of Manchester, Celia & I weren't too familiar with it's location. We knew it was near the Council House (Man City's rented accommodation) which we'd been to in 2005 to see U2, but that was on mostly on foot, not by car. Fortunately the website for the Velodrome gave great directions, and basically we had to follow the signs for "Sportcity" (though when have City ever been associated with sport?).

After being guided by volunteers towards the nearby free car parking, we parked up and wandered over in the glorious early evening sunshine towards the venue. All around people were were hanging around, chilling out - none of this bustling pushing queueing nonsense here. It was all so civilised. Lovely. We took a few photos at the front of the venue before going round the back (ooh err) to the "blue door" entrance as specified on the ticket.

Whilst in the short line of peeps calmly entering the building, we were asked by a camera crew filming for the Festival a couple of questions... "Why have we come here to see Kraftwerk?" to which I could only answer "Well... it's Kraftwerk isn't it? Legends." Which is deep. Celia gave a more detailed interesting answer stating that Kraftwerk invented Techno music but was totally overshadowed by a bloke waving his hands in electro style behind her shouting "We are the Robots". Quite.

When asked what was so special about Kraftwerk, I calmly dismissed the entire post war musical output up to 1970 by stating that "there was no good music before Kraftwerk". Great soundbite there Darren. Let's just dismiss the entire career of The Beatles in one fell swoop.

We're given some 3D specs at the entrance. Ooh, the rumours are true then. "9:30" it states ominously on the sleeve. Now the velodrome itself is a bit awesome, and as we had standing tickets we got to stand in the centre of the arena with the track around us, where the general public don't usually get a chance to stand. We wandered up casually to the front and sat on the floor awaiting the opening act...

No support band as such. Instead we got the premiere of composer Steve Reich's "2x5", a piece specially written for the festival, performed by a group of musicians called Bang On A Can. I didn't know a great deal about Reich's work - his "Electric Counterpoint" was sampled on the Orb's "Little Fluffy Clouds" but that's about it, Celia knew more about him than I did. This new piece was an interesting piece of music, if repetetive but not really for me. To be honest some of it sounded like incidental music from "Mary Mungo & Midge". Not that it's a bad thing... just not my bag.

Celia's old mate Paul from down saaaaaf in Coventry turned up during this song and provided welcome distraction from the noodling on stage. The two of them hadn't clapped eyes on each other in about 10 years and it was if it had only been 10 days. The whole place was getting quite busy by now but it wasn't crushed, with plenty of room for movement.

The band departed to a warm round of applause, and I'm informed that the composer was there at the back of the arena but we couldn't see him from where we were stood. However I'm sure that nobody bought a ticket for Mr Reich, god bless. The 4 German guys were the main attraction and what we were all here for. And so the curtains were drawn whilst stage hands set up. 15 minutes later, the lights dimmed, and the robotic opening tones of "The Man Machine" blared across the auditorium...

"Meine Dammen und Herren...Ladies and gentlemen...heute abend...Die Mensch Maschine...Kraft...werk!"

...the curtains opened to reveal the familiar sight of the fab four stood individually behind their laptops and electronic gubbins. Each wore a black shiny cycling style zip top. There was a "new" member at the end, Stefan Pfaffe (replacing founder member Florian Schneider) who stood out from the rest because he was (a) taller than them and (b) looked about twenty. He's a bit like the work experience kid. Whatever happened between Florian and the remaining founder member Ralf Hutter to cause the split we'll probably never know - Kraftwerk are not known for discussing... well anything really.

It's funny really - I usually hate groups that try to go on with only one remaining original member. It's like Oasis - the Gallaghers and some hired hands, or Fleetwood Mac during the 90's. But Kraftwerk transcend this bias of mine, I don't know how. Maybe it's because they've always been pretty faceless, truly embracing the idea of the music being everything - they truly are the Mensch Maschine.

I don't know what to say really about the performance... apart from harking back to whatI said to the reporter earlier... it's Kraftwerk isn't it? You don't really go to see them for an energetic performance, yet what they do is mesmerising. The combination of their minimalism, the accompanying visuals on the huge video screens behind them and the crystal clear electronic sound was just awesome.

Appropriately, the original version of "Tour De France" was played - well, we're in a bloody Velodrome and that's the only reason cycling nutter Ralf agreed to the gig - but during the song I could see a curtain twitching down a ramp in front of us - something was gonna happen. And as the first bars of the "Etape" version from the "Tour De France Soundtracks" rang out... four cyclists emerge from behind the curtain and ride onto the track. Ralf introduces them as the Great Britain Cycling Team - Ed Clancy, Jason Kenny, Jamie Staff and Geraint Thomas, all Gold medallists in Beijing - and the crowd go mad as they ride round the arena in formation. He also gives a bit shout out to their trainer who is German - like the music, sport can sometimes transcend Nationality for the greater good. This celebration of the true man machine has turned an already special night into something extraordinary. So where can it go from here?

Well, after the Olympic medal winning cyclists leave the arena to an amazing reaction from the audience, and Ralf promises to bring his bike next time, Kraftwerk go on to plough through some of their amazing back catalogue. They play the song Coldplay nicked wholesale for "Talk", "Computer Love" but give a little nod back to Chris Martin by incorporating the little musical touches he added. "Autobahn" is awesome as ever, "Showroom Dummies" is a pleasant surprise as it wasn't played on the last visit to Manchester in 2004, the UK number one "The Model" is a crowd fave, and "Neon Lights" just gets more beautiful everytime you hear it. The first half of the show ends with the magnificently epic "Trans Europe Express", a record which invented Depeche Mode post-Vince Clarke. Honest.

The curtains close (well eventually - the stage hands had a bit of bother, which the Mancunian crowd predictably ripped the piss out of) and we wonder what's next... well I think we know. The curtains open again to reveal that the band have been replaced by... yes, the robotic doppelgangers for "The Robots". Of course all this is to give them time backstage to change into their "Tron" cycling suits. At least they've changed Florian's head for Stefan's.

The automated versions are removed and it's time (well a bit later than 9:30 actually) to don the 3D glasses. Just when you think that the show can't get any better, the visuals behind the group come atcha in glorious 3D. You can almost reach out and touch the numbers in front of you during the tune of the same name, and during "Vitamin" the computer graphic pills are so real you nearly duck out of the way. It must be a bizarre sight for the band to see a few thousand people staring at them in cardboard glasses.

Finally, the sound of "Boing, Boom, Tschak!" heralds the closing number, "Music Non-Stop" at which point the members of the band go wild. Well, they move their legs a bit and nod in time to the beats. That's like moonwalking across the stage for them. One by one Stefan, Fritz, Henning and finally Ralf leave the stage. And then they were gone.

This was not a gig. This was an event. Kraftwerk. Legends.

(Thanks to shamlessboyuk and kraftwerkmod for the YouTube vids)

Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

Well, that was a shocker. Michael Jackson dead. Cardiac Arrest. Funny really, I'm not really shocked but it's still sad news. Whether it was down to the stress of preparing for the upcoming 50 dates at the 02 arena, or something else we don't know. Maybe we never will. From the rumours I'd heard over the past few weeks, I was expecting that the shows wouldn't happen but not like this. Now, if it's jokes you're looking for well you can get them on Twitter or elsewhere. None of that here, oh no. And if it's biting comment about his personal life, plastic surgery and the sordid allegations against him over the years, well there's plenty of other places for that as well.

Once you put all that aside, and single out that period of time from the early 70's to around 1988, and specifically Michael Jackson's musical output as a solo artist and as part of the Jackson Five and then of course the Jacksons, then you have the real legacy, something that will last forever and for this writer, is pure and untainted by the circus that came to engulf his career and personal life.

"I Want You Back"
"ABC"
"Show You The Way To Go"
"Blame It On The Boogie"
"Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground)"
"Can You Feel It"
"Don't Stop Till You Get Enough"
"Rock With You"
"One Day In Your Life"
"Wanna Be Starting Something"
"Billie Jean"
"Thriller"
"Beat It"
"The Way You Make Me Feel"
"Smooth Criminal"
"Leave Me Alone"

A bloody amazing collection of songs, and then there were the performances and videos... that performance of "Billie Jean" at the Motown 25 show. Memories of staying up until one in the morning to watch the premiere of "Thriller" on "The Tube". That over the top video for "Black & White" with the amazing morphing. The Jackson 5 on "Top Of The Pops" doing "Rockin' Robin"...

Remember him that way.

"Shamon".

Blur in Wolverhampton 2009 - It Really Really Really DID Happen

If you asked me a couple of years ago if I thought there would be any chance of Blur playing live again I’d have said “not a chance”. Yet here we are in June 2009 and last night I experienced a fabulous two hour set by a revitalised band at the top of their game. How the hell did this happen?

In 2003 Blur released “Think Tank”, their first album of the 21st century and their first without guitarist Graham Coxon, who abandoned ship during the recording for reasons that wouldn’t become fully clear for 6 years. It was a good album, and Coxon had a sole contribution to the closing track, but after a short tour to promote the album complete with stand-in guitarist courtesy of the then-defunct Verve, it seemed like the end for the band. The remaining three members of the band seemed to have their sights set on activities outside of the band, whether it be Dave being a politician & solicitor, Alex’s cheese-making and writing, or Damon’s colossal success with cartoon band Gorillaz, the latter of which seemed to pour mucho cold water over any idea of more Blur music. Albarn seemed to be working overtime to experiment, with differing projects such as such as The good The Bad & The Queen, Mali Music, or the opera based on Monkey. Who needs Blur? Certainly not Graham, releasing what seems like an album a year of solo material, relishing being freed from the constraints of being “the guitarist from Blur”.

Whilst the likes of one-time rival Oasis plodded on through the noughties shedding members, releasing albums nobody was really interested in but still selling out enormo-gigs, nothing seemed to be moving on the Blur front. The internet would occasionally report rumours that Damon & Graham had got together to chat about maybe getting the band back together, but then nothing would come of it, with Albarn himself stating that it was unlikely to happen. The rift that split childhood friends apart continued.

But then at the end of 2008 something changed. Over an Eccles cake, Albarn & Coxon chatted about their differences, decided quickly that they’d both moved on and any animosity was in the past and in true Blues Brothers style “got the band back together”. It wasn’t a reformation, as they was no official split of the band. A big Hyde Park gig was announced and sold out immediately, necessitating an additional date, followed by announcement of a headlining date at Glastonbury – the public’s desire to see the band had only increased whilst they were away.

I always knew that there would be some warm up dates before the big gigs, so kept my eyes open scouring the forums for info, and lo and behold, a gig in Wolverhampton was announced. Now it’s not exactly in the North, but going to Wolves has sort of become second nature since being with Celia due to the football. A bigger bonus was that he gig was at the Civic Hall, where she took her finals back in the day. Get in.

24th June – a hot summer night in the Black Country, with a packed out sweltering hall full of patient fans waiting for the fab four to return to the stage. And Blur didn’t disappoint. Their current album “Midlife”, a compilation was high in the charts, but this band looked nothing like a bunch of 40 year olds – they were lean, fit and up for it. The opening chords of their first single “She’s So High” wafted around the auditorium and the crowd went a little bit excitable. By the end of the applause for that gem and the opening guitar riff of “There’s No Other Way”, they’d gone mental.

Sporadically accompanied by backing singers and a horn section, the band flew through a selection of songs in batches from their albums – an opening bunch from their debut, then a selection of crowd singalongs from the classic “Parklife” including “Girls & Boys”, “Tracy Jacks” & “Jubilee”, before "Badhead" segued into a introspective section with “Beetlebum” and “Out of Time” the latter with Coxon playing guitar (unlike on record) here giving a lovely moody ambience complementing the song perfectly. His own “Coffee & TV” opened up another batch of songs from the sometimes difficult “13” (but it's a Celia fave) including a tremendous “Tender” which got the masses singing along. There was even time for the once-hated-by-the-band Number One albatross “Country House”, played perfectly straight. You know I think they’re over it.

The “Modern Life Is Rubbish” songs reminded you just how good the band were live – Albarn staring manically at the adoring crowd like a latter day Lydon before hurling himself about the stage, throwing the contents of bottles of water on the moshers, whilst Coxon abuses his guitar and generally makes you wonder why he’s not feted as being a legend like Marr, Squire or Clapton. Of course keeping it all together is Dave Rowntree like a metronome on drums and Alex James standing coolly playing bass as ever, the only thing different about him from the Britpop days being the lack of fag hanging from his lips. They have clearly practiced – I’ve seen them 7 times now and I’ve never seen Blur sound so tight and energised as tonight, not even back in the heyday of the “Parklife” tour or during the midst of the Blur vs Oasis war (God that seems sooooo long ago now).

Talking of which another selection of songs from the Britpop landmark that was that album finish off the main set, with a manic Phil Daniels-less"Parklife", "End Of A Century" causing mass singalongs, "To The End" being as ever the best Bond tune that never was, ending with the superb "This Is A Low".

The encore was a crazy rush through band fave "Popscene", "Advert" (where Damon finally managed to crowd surf, apologising afterwards to a girl in the crowd he landed on by giving her a kiss - bless) and wahhhhhhoooooo - "Song 2".

And a big shout out to us – the fans, who never stopped singing through the whole gig. Okay not always in tune but ever present. We were especially on fine fettle during the closing "For Tomorrow" and The Universal", the band looked really moved by the crowd reaction.

And that was it. It was like they'd never been away and they showed that there is much more life left in the Essex Dogs yet.

Setlist...

she's so high
girls & boys
tracy jacks
there's no other way
jubilee
badhead
beetlebum
out of time
trimm trabb
coffee & tv
tender
country house
oily water
chemical world
sunday sunday
parklife
end of the century
to the end
this is a low
______________

popscene
advert
song 2
_______________
for tomorrow
the universal

And some You Tube stuff from someone sat just behind us...