Monday, June 21, 2010

Doop doo doo doo doop... 1984! More Smash Hits ramblings...

Welcome to 1984!!! George Orwell... Big Brother and all that... but an abysmal Eurythmics single comes later in the year. Let's see what Smash Hits brought us early on...

Let us celebrate the first of a great many appearances on the ver cover of ver Hits by Madge herself, looking fantastic in her green Benetton jumper and far too many bangles for one wrist (I'm sure there's a joke there about wrist action and the Bangles but I'll leave it). This must be publicising either "Holiday" or "Lucky Star", and was a birrova gamble for the mag to put her on the cover so early in her career. Still it didn't do Jimmy the Hoover any harm... oh.

Also hanging on for dear life to the pop lifeboat are the Limahl-less Kajagoogoo, limping on regardless with the charisma free Nick Beggs at the helm. US soap star turned singer Rick Springfield also merits a cover mention for some God forsaken reason, and there's Re-Flex!! "The Politics of Dancing... the politics of oooohhhhh feeling good!" as their one hit went (it's on Now II, sensation seekers). Tracey Ullman hasn't at this point legged it to be massive in America and is still hawking fine 60's pastiches on the Stiff record label. But who's that in big letters? Lord Frederick Of Mercury and Queen of course, who suddenly were back back BACK!! and became poptastic again with "Radio Ga Ga". They would show no sign of becoming crap again for the rest of the decade. Welcome back sirs!!

Fast forward to April. Who are these ugly bastards ruining the cover of my fortnightly pop periodical? Oh it's those controversial scousers Frankie Goes to Hollywood, looking well hard in army & navy gear publicising single of the year "Two Tribes" which would dominate the charts for the rest of the summer. Can you spot the gay members of the band kids?

Apparently also featured are Dead or Alive, so this must be their pre-Stock Aitken & Waterman era (i.e. cack); Duran Duran being generally massive with "The Reflex" and... look! Like the turd that won't flush away, Nick Heyward refusing to accept that he's down the dumper and still hanging on to adulation by looks alone.

Hit songs by OMD ("Crossing every ocean for the sake of Locomotion"... oh dear), ver Bunnymen in imperial mode with "The Killing Moon" and Shannon with the record that invented the Pet Shop Boys... "Let The Music Play". Good stuff. We'll gloss over Mr Collins.


Blimey. It's Wham! (always with an exclaimation mark please) beaming away on the cover. "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" had been number one and catapulted the suntanned Princess Di Hair-alike George and proto-Bez Andrew into the higher echelons of the pop royalty. Suddenly 1984 was all about them, Duran, Frankie and Spandau. Goodo.

Also in this issue was more Madge, Manchester's finest New Order who were in the charts with the majestic "Thieves Like Us", and the now perv-mungous Depeche Mode who'd gone from plinketty plonk synth meisters under Vince Clarke to purveyors of industrial clangy metal synth with Martin Gore in charge or songwriting. Brrrrrrr.

Plus hit songs by Howard Jones ("Pearl In The Shell" - "Shit in the Bog" more like), pre-"Kayleigh" Marillion (avoid), and Limahl, who's like an untalented Nick Heyward at this point.

More soon....  

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