All That You CAN Leave Behind

Ever got annoyed with your favourite artist when they decide that your favourite songs are crap and should be hidden away in a cupboard like some ugly boot faced cat? “What are you on about?” I hear you cry. Well, take Eric Clapton. “We don’t want him”. Don’t be cheeky. Mid 80s, has a career resurrection with “Behind The Mask”, but these days, won’t play that as it’s too poppy and doesn’t fit in with his new serious chinstroking “blues” direction. Still plays “Layla” though. (Also until recently, see Radiohead & “Creep”). History rewritten.

Well as Xmas is almost here it’s time for groups to cash in with Greatest Hits collections. "What's this got to do with the last paragraph?" you say. Well, read on. There's compilations aplenty from 10CC, The Charlatans, George Michael, Girls Aloud, Sugababes, etc. So let’s focus on two bands at random. Say... Oasis and... U2. “Hang on, they’re not releasing “Greatest Hits” say their PR men, “they’re releasing “Best Of” collections. That's different.” You say tomato etc. It’s still a Xmas kerching moment. And these two bands are especially guilty of trying to rewrite their history with their latest compilations.

We’ll start with Oasis. “Stop The Clocks” is their new compilation spanning 1994 to 2005. No new tracks, and not exactly the hits, but a 2 CD's of album tracks, singles, and b-sides. Chosen by Noel Gallagher apparently. Fair enough you’d think, but Gallagher Senior's selection process is very selective, and ultimately it doesn’t really cast the current band output in that good a light. It focuses heavily on the first two (and best) albums "Definitely_Maybe" and "(What's the Story) Morning Glory?", with each contributing five tracks, including four B-sides from this era. 2 tracks appear from their last album, "Don't Believe the Truth", which is about right, and one track each from "Standing on the Shoulder of Giants" and "Heathen Chemistry", whilst 1997’s "Be Here Now" is overlooked completely.

This means there’s no “Whatever” (mainly cos Noel would have to pay Neil Innes for the tune he nicked), no Blur baiting “Roll With It”, nothing from the cocaine plagued but strangely ageing well “Be Here Now” such as “D’ya know what I mean” or “Stand By Me”, and an insinuation that the following two albums were crap (which is not strictly true - “The Hindu Times” and “Stop Crying Your Heart Out” were v.good amongst others). Also no “Shakermaker”. Hurrah!. However, “Stop The Clocks” reinforces the misconception that Oasis burnt out in 1996 after Knebworth and splutter on studiowise with the odd good single every two years, and like the Rolling Stones before them, are only really releasing new stuff so they can tour.

Then there’s U2. They’re worse.


“U218 Singles” is what it says on the cover. Compiled by someone (no-one's owning up to this so it must be a commitee) It’s apparently an overview of their whole career with their most successful singles. Ah, but no. For a start, there’s nothing from 1980 to 1982 (unless you buy the album in the UK when you get “I Will Follow” as a bonus track making err… 19 singles. Right.) “Sunday Bloody Sunday” is on it but this wasn’t even a single in the UK or Eire.

There’s three singles from “Joshua Tree”, which is fair as it is their best known album, but four from “All You Can’t Leave Behind” & two from last years “Atomic Bomb” CD? That's a bit heavily loaded - 6 out of 18. And as for the 90s? “One & “Mysterious Ways” from “Achtung Baby”. That’s it. The 90s never happened then. Must have been some other U2 I saw twice in Leeds then. Oh and don't forget the obligatory two new crap tracks.

There’s no “The Fly”…a number one single no less. But we get “Sweetest Thing” cos that’s nice and yer mum likes it . No “Hold Me Thrill Me..”. No “Discotheque” (another number one), in fact nothing from “Pop”. No “Stay (Faraway So Close)”, a superb song from “Zooropa” which would fit in nicely, and a Top 5 hit. And “Elevation” is the album version. What’s the point in calling it “Singles” if you use the wrong version?

It’s a CD specifically designed for the punter who buys four CDs a year and then only from Tesco, along with the shopping and copies of "Top Gear" magazine and a "Heat" for the wife. The type of U2 fan who thought they went right weird after “Rattle & Hum” and only got good again with “Beautiful Day”. Anything remotely challenging or experimental is not on this CD. “Zooropa”? Get stuffed.

It’s odd that both groups have sort of airbrushed 1997’s output from their latest official history, as if they think they went off the plot around that point and now they’re back doing what they do best. Which is a shame really, as the last U2 album is a bit dull and basic really, but I suppose we’ve had the experimental years from them and having had their fingers burnt with “pop” they’ve retreated into their default safe mode. And although Oasis “Be Here Now” was praised at the time due to the Britpop explosion, and then slated retospectively by critics, public and Noel alike, nearly ten years on, it’s starting to sound actually quite okay. Certainlty nothing to be ashamed of. Certainly better than "Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants".

I suppose the bottom line is that these CDs are not aimed at fans but the casual buyer, but it’s a shame that purchaser will not get the full story, just the sanitised safe version.

End of rant.

Who and I

Once upon a time, not so long ago, if I typed here that I was a Doctor Who fan, you’d have mocked me and generally took the piss. There may well have been good grounds for this, as prior to 2005, the show was much derided, and an easy target for jokes about wobbly sets, dodgy aliens, bad acting & special effects that were anything but.

Ah but not now. Since 2005, it’s become okay to openly say “I like Doctor Who”, without people pointing at you, laughing and making you move out of the borough. Now it’s sexy. It’s fashionable. It’s hip. It’s got all the best acting talent in the UK clamouring to get onto it. It’s the biggest drama hit the BBC has had in years. It’s also the same show that was mocked years before, the same show that the BBC ran down until it became a sad parody of it’s former self, the same programme that had some of the worst miscasting ever in it’s later years. It’s the show I loved… and still love.

I grew up with Tom Baker you see. Not literally, as that would make me ancient, but with him as my Doctor. You had to have your own Doctor, in the same way you’ve got to have your James Bond or your Blue Peter presenter (Connery & Noakes, if you’re interested). Okay, Pertwee was technically my first Doctor but Tom was the man I consciously (well as much as you can at age 5) tuned in each week for.

From 1974 to 1981, as I went from infants up through juniors up to senior school, Baker travelled with me every Saturday for 26 weeks a year. People forget that the show was popular back then. It wasn’t cult TV. Families watched the show in their millions as it formed that rock upon which the BBC Saturday night TV line up was built. Football results. Basil Brush. Doctor Who. Brucie. Some drama or other. Two Ronnies. Starsky & Hutch. Match Of The Day. Parky. Bed.

Yes it could be a bit ropey but it wasn’t about the production values. It was about the story and the characters, and you believed in Baker’s Doctor, so much so you mostly overlooked the programme’s flaws as you were gripped so much by his performance.

Blackpool is almost a second home for Who, as the Exhibition was based here for so many years until it’s demise in 1985. And my parents took me to see it, as well as going one September night to see Tom, Elisabeth Sladen (ah! Sarah Jane!) and Ian Marter switch on the Illuminations in 1975, fighting off Cybermen & Daleks in their quest to pull the lever that turned on the lights. My darling Celia even met the man himself once when she was little, as he lost his way to the exhibition and asked her mum for directions. Well I say met. Hiding behind your mum’s legs counts doesn’t it?

I grew up. Honest. Peter Davison was the man who was the Doctor in my senior school years, and as I grew older, I began to take more interest in the show, it’s history, how it was made etc. Also as you get older you become more critical of the show, less blind to it’s faults. I still loved the show, and Davison is only second to Baker in my Top 10, but even at that age I could see that the show was becoming a bit insular, whereas it was previously aimed at the family audience, now the producer was progressively aiming the show at.. the Doctor Who fan. When you start playing to the gallery, you’re going to alienate the average viewer. The kids went elsewhere for their kicks.

So the show went on through the 80s, audiences dwindling as Doctors came & went, the BBC becoming less interested in making the show but loving the cash they made from selling it and the merchandise round the world, progressively killing the show but scheduling it against shows on the other channel that it could never beat it it’s current state (Daleks vs Ken & Deirdre? No contest). The Colin Baker era I could just about handle, mainly down to lusting after Nicola Bryant (hey! I was in my teens) but when Sylvester McCoy & Bonnie Langford arrived, even I couldn’t really justify watching the programme. Much.

When the show ended in 1989, there were no tears. The last series had it’s moments but too little too late. There were rumours it would be back in a couple of years, but I wasn’t the naive kid any more, I knew how the industry worked and it was obvious it was over as an ongoing TV show. There were always the videos to look back over, but looking back was all we’d have.

However, spin forward and 1996 saw the American & BBC co-funded revival of Who, starring Paul McGann, who was great even if he is a scouser. It was all very glossy and looked great if again, a bit continuity obsessed, and ratings were good in the UK. Alas, in the US it died on it’s arse and that was the end of the 8^th doctor’s ninety minute era.

I never went the full hog and became part of organised fandom. There always seemed to me to be something fundamentally.. wrong about the whole thing, you know, conventions and all that. Of course the way the show had been going in the latter part of the 80s, it was something you had to keep to yourself as it was frankly shocking, so I was quite happy not to seek out likeminded people. It was only during the dark years of the 90s that I became aware of fandom, and became sort of one of them, looking in from the outside, buying books, videos and fanzines. Fandom kept the Who brand alive in those years, with fanzine writers becoming Virgin novelists or writing for the ever popular Doctor Who magazine (27 years old this month kids!).

It was these fans that eventually worked their way up into positions of power and influence in the industry. A certain Mr Russell T Davies, who wrote a Who novel in the 90s worked many references to the show into his 1999 Channel 4 hit “Queer As Folk”. Another fan novelist, Mark Gatiss (of the League Of Gentlemen) played the Doctor in a spoof sketch also starring David Walliams who with Matt Lucas would go on to use Tom Baker’s voiceovers in Little Britain. (Why? Because he was Doctor Who of course). Steven Moffat wrote several Who short stories and shoed in many a Who joke into his Coupling series, as well as a Comic Relief sketch with the likes of Hugh Grant & Rowan Atkinson. There are many other examples… Lee & Herring, Simon Pegg and so on.

Davies was asked by the BBC what he’d like to do next. He said “Doctor Who”. They said.“okay”. And that was it. Easy as that. You’ve got one of the hottest writers in Television given carte blanche to make a new series of his favourite show as a kid. Jammy bastard.

It could have all gone wrong. He could have miscast the Doctor completely and the show would be on it’s arse again. But he asked one of the pickiest actors in the business if he’d be interested in playing the lead role in a million pound reworking of one of the oldest series on TV. Lucky he’d worked with him before or else he’d have had the door slammed in his face. Christopher Eccleston said yes. He’d never seen the show really before but would give it a go because of Russell. But who to have as a companion? Howzabout an ex-teen pop star and wannabe actress who’s always looking pissed in the tabloids with her DJ husband?

The rest seems to be history. Billie Piper has more than proved herself to be a great actress as well as a cute eye candy for Dads everywhere, Eccleston shone (all too briefly IMHO) in a role that he grabbed and made his own, the show looks great, it’s restablished itself as unmissible on Saturday nights, millions watch it, ladies love their sexy new Doctors (who'd have thought that 20 years ago?), kids love it, the toyshops are full of Daleks & Cybermen, and new Doctor David Tennant has reignited the debate we used to have back in the day… “well, I prefer Eccleston, he’s my doctor. This new one’s not as good, he's just silly and gurns too much”.

I love Doctor Who, old and new. Everything about it. The whole thing. Sarah Jane Smith. Zygons. K-9. The Brigadier. Torchwood. Even the rubbish bits, like Kamelion or Peter Kay. Even that episode with the girl with the drawings that come to life. Even Ace.

Well, maybe not Ace. Now she was embarrassing.

More Happy Monday than Blue Monday

New Order? In Blackpool? Virtually on my doorstep? It’s a no-brainer. I’m there. Especially as it’s an early birthday present from the missus. It had to be done, as it was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity, bearing in mind the last time New Order visited the town was 24 years ago when I was still at school (30th August 1982 at somewhere called “The Venue”, trainspotters). That night, the setlist looked liked this:

Procession, Ceremony, 586, Truth, We All Stand, Hurt, Everything's Gone Green, Age Of Consent, Ultraviolence. Only one of these songs made it to the setlist in 2006…

Strange tour really this. There’s no new product to promote, but it’s being promoted as the “Singles Collection Tour”, yet they’re not playing many of the singles, and they’re performing at least half of the tracks from their 2005 album, which they didn’t bother to promote with a tour at the time. Very New Order.

Due to not leaving the house until after eight, and pre-gig drinkies in Gillespies, we missed the support Section 25, old mates of the band from the Factory days, but as they’ve been playing the Fylde recently no doubt the chance to see them will occur again at some point. It was a surprise to see the Ballroom rammed full – it wasn’t this busy for Radiohead earlier in the year. So at 9.05, New Order came on stage and slammed straight into new fave "Crystal", followed by crowd pleasers “Regret” & “Ceremony”, with singalongs a plenty. The legendary Empress acoustics didn’t do the band any favours really, making much of Barney’s between song banter inaudible, though he did apologise for his voice as he had tonsillitis – sounded okay to me.

The set was a good mixture of tracks from “Waiting For The Sirens’ Call”, NO regulars like “Bizarre Love Triangle” and Joy Division songs such as the rarely played “24 Hours” and “These Days”. Not much different from what they’ve been playing for the last few years, but a fine selection all the same. The set got into top gear with a tremendous version of “Temptation” which saw Celia & I grooving away like it was our own personal indie-disco. “The Perfect Kiss” has been a much-missed song from their setlists over the last few years, and it was good to see that they’d re-introduced it, complete with a perfect segue into the inevitable “Blue Monday”, complete with Barney‘s bad dancing.

Due to the call of nature and a trip to the bar, I missed the first song of the encore “Turn”, (which is no bad thing) but made it back for the JD classics “Shadowplay” and their increasingly pubrockish version of “Love Will Tear Us Apart” (“Come on!!”).

And that was it. They were gone. Probably as good as they’ve ever been, over those 90 minutes New Order proved that they still had what it takes to make Blackpool rock.

Setlist: Crystal, Regret, Who's Joe, Ceremony, Waiting For The Sirens' Call, These Days, Twenty Four Hours, Krafty, Your Silent Face, Guilt Is A Useless Emotion, Bizarre Love Triangle, Temptation, The Perfect Kiss, Blue Monday, Turn, Shadowplay, Love Will Tear Us Apart

True Faith

Out of the myriad of bands that I’ve followed, New Order are probably my favourite. It’s been a love affair with them since 1983, when I first heard “Confusion” on the Top 40 rundown. I thought it sounded a bit like Freeze’s “IOU” (not surprising as they were both produced by Arthur Baker), but it sounded great. I didn’t really know then that New Order were formed from the ashes of Joy Division, though I had heard “Love Will Tear Us Apart” previously and knew that Tony Wilson bloke off Granada’s “What’s On” had something to do with them and it. When “Blue Monday” went back into the charts for the second time that year, I was knocked out. This was a weird and wonderful record.

Our paths crossed for the next three years, as I caught the odd single release here and there on evening Radio 1, read about them in Smash Hits and saw their appalling TOTP performances, but like many, it wasn’t until “Substance” and the seminal “True Faith” that you could say I became a fan. After that I became more and more obsessed about the band, and as I started work and came into money around the “Technique” era so was able to snap up their releases ASAP as opposed to playing catch up around second hand shops. I loved the fact that each release seemed like something to cherish, lovingly packaged in a sleeve with the superb design work of Peter Saville.

Of course, as with most bands, the releases started coming out less frequently, and frustratingly only 1990’s “World In Motion” England song would fill the gap for the next three years. There were spin off projects to buy (Sumner & ex-Smith Johnny Marr’s excellent Electronic, Steve & Gillian’s so-so Other Two and Hooky’s downright piss-poor Revenge) as each member wanted to do their own thing. But the burning question was: would the four of them ever make a record again as New Order? Would I ever get to see them live? And would things be the same since Factory had gone kaput?

No need to worry. 1993 saw the release of their first single on major label London Records, the classic single “Regret” and the accompanying album “Republic”, a much more commercial product than anything that had ever gone before, but it was still recognizably New Order. What was even better, there would be a chance of seeing them live at last, albeit at a festival. So it was on August Bank Holiday I made the trek down south to Reading to see their only UK live appearance that year, and wasn’t disappointed, with a superb set of classics, current faves and shit dancing from Mr Sumner. Some said that they were always awful live, but if this had been the case previously, it was no longer true – on that August Sunday night, they were blinding.

I wasn’t to know then it would be five long years before our paths crossed again. Increasingly fractious relationships during the long US leg of the tour and the fall out from the Factory Records debacle had taken their toll, and although they hadn’t officially split, it became apparent that there would be no further New Order releases for the foreseeable future.

So at least I’d seen their last ever gig. I still bought the offshoot bands’ releases, but like methadone to a heroin addict, it’s not the same. I saw Peter Hook’s band Monaco a few times, which was probably the nearest thing I was going to get to New Order. Good, but it’s not the real thing (although their gig at Manchester University in 1997 when Tim Burgess of The Charlatans got on stage to sing NO’s “Lonesome Tonight” is a moment to cherish). Of course there were loads of New Order re-releases and remixes as the record label were determined to cash in on the band whilst they could (“Blue Monday 1995” anybody?), but it didn’t make up for the band not being around.

Surprisingly in 1998, out of the blue the Manchester Evening News announced there was going to be a gig at the Manchester Apollo, as a warm up to an appearance at the Reading festival. The band? New Order. There was no way I was going to miss this. Seemingly the band had decided that there was no good reason not to get back together, and would give a reunion a try. And the gig was a classic, with the band seemingly revitalised, Hooky & Barney getting on, and a few Joy Division classics thrown in. They were back. It wasn’t a one off, as I saw them again at Xmas, with a promise of more to come.

Spin on to 2001 and the first new album in 8 years, “Get Ready” which was a move away from the polished pop dance stuff they’d been increasingly known for since “Technique”, and to a more raw guitar based sound, heard to best effect on the opening single “Crystal”. And as 21 years had passed since Ian Curtis’s demise, they’d become more comfortable with Joy Division’s legacy. So increasingly JD songs littered their sets, to the point where many a fan has been known to complain that they were doing too many JD songs. Fair comment. On the three occasions I’ve seen them since 2001 only about 3/4 of the set is NO material. But look at it from their point of view: they’d written the bleedin’ songs, why couldn’t they play them again? (Even if they do murder “Love Will Tear Us Apart” every time).

They’ve recently started to receive more and more “lifetime achievement” awards. It’s always a worry when this starts to happen, as it seems that the hunger seems to go, especially when the ”establishment” accepts you. The band I fell in love with were always the outsiders, doing things their way. But, I suppose not playing the game doesn’t feed the kids, and it’s probably time they got their due credit from the industry, as well as getting paid at last. After twenty odd years, letting “Blue Monday” be used in adverts for Mars bars is fair enough especially bearing in mind they never made any money on that record in the first place, due to Factory’s shady business practice.

Maybe their most recent output isn’t as good as the old stuff. Maybe the gigs aren’t as special as they once were. Maybe Gillian’s absence is a bad thing, and it’s become a bit Dad-rock. Maybe they’re getting old and fat. All I know is that it’s great to have New Order still around, and having once thought I’d lost them for good, I’m going to make sure that every time there’s a tour I’m going to be there.

Which brings me to tonight… New Order @ Blackpool Empress Ballroom.

Review to follow.

Essential purchases: “Singles” (2005) / “Brotherhood” (1986) / “Technique” (1989) / “Get Ready” (2001)

"My Day Out In The Big Car" by Richard Hammond

I went to yorkshur to drive the big car that goez fast coz Jeremy and the other wun alwez make fun ov me and sed I was rubbish driver so I wantid to sho vem so I got in the big car and went ded fast and made them boff look crap but car went wonky and crashed and I went in ambullanse to hostipal coz I had bad hed but better now and warking bout a bit and got lotz of flowerz and will bee bak on telly soon I hop with top geer dogg.

Jeremy and other wun still say I am a rubbish driver. Vey smell ov poo.

Richard (age fivv and a harf)

my summer holiday by D Beckham

we went to a plaice called doych land and we played and sven sed i wos the best and then we caim hom erly and sven sed it wos cos of frank hoo was crap and wayne hoo had bin bad then sven woz gone and i dont like the new man cos he dont let me play no mor

The Season so far.....

My first non match-going season in god knows how long, and what happens? United, top of the league, unbeaten, maximum points. Typical. If I was there, we'd be rubbish. It seems with International matches rearing their ugly heads again this weekend that it's an opportune moment to take stock of the Season three weeks in.

It's been a cracking start, with United playing confidently, and our main rivals stuttering - it's usually the other way round. Even with Scholes & Rooney out due to pre-season shenanigans, we've coped admirably, with the second string players stepping up and showing that they're up for it - Mr Fletcher notably - and Carrick looks to be fitting in well, though it's early days yet to be judging him. Goals seem to be coming from eveybody (Silvestre? Who woke him up?) and Ronaldo's getting jeered at every away match. Good. We love it when the world's against us, and although he's a little shit, he's United's little shit and don't you forget it. Good to see Chelsea & Arsenal getting beat as well. As the Tesco ad says, every little helps.

It's one of those season starts like the old days where we've got bizarre company below us. Portsmouth second? Villa third? Everton? The world's gone mad I tell you. "Ah, but it hasn't" says the voice of reason inside my head - it's amazing how a couple of inspired buys in the summer can lift a team, or in Villa's case, booting David O'Dreary and "deadly" Doug Ellis out and installing yer man O'Neill as manager. It seems there may be life in the Midlands yet (and it's good to see m'lady's beloved Wolves up there in the Championship - McCarthy's team don't play too pretty but they're grinding out results, and that's all that matters at the moment). Still it's early yet and we're sure that the once everything settles, you'll be finding Pompey and the rest in their natural midtable habitat.

So we come to the bottom of the Championship.. and doirty Mackem bastards Sunderland, who looked to be in freefall after "give the ball to" Niall Quinn's takeover, but things have taken a Rohld Dahl-esque twist with the appointment of his good mate (ahem) Mr Royston Keane as manager. Now, heaven knows what sort of boss he's going to be, but if he manages in the style of his captaincy, god help those players if don't give 100% on the pitch. He's played under two of the best managers ever (Clough & Ferguson) so something's bound to have rubbed off. He's not a man to accept second best, although you're only as good as the tools you've got to work with, so let's hope he can get those tools playing.

Now, I wonder who's sitting in my seat nowadays?

Single Review - U2 "Discotheque"

Last one for now... honest.

U2 "Discotheque"
Chart Position #1
Released February 1997

Of all the U2 singles, why this one, I hear you mumble? Well, why not?I love it and it pissed off a lot of their fanbase who refused to go with the band's new direction.

I really liked U2 in the Nineties. Don't get me wrong, I liked them in the 80s also but I began to tire of them around the "Rattle & Hum / we love America" era, and began widening my musical horizons a bit, but was pleasantly surprised to see that they too had widened their own when "Achtung Baby" was released, and I re-embraced the band. The ZOO TV era was U2 at the peak of their powers for me; playful, experimental, never dull and releasing some great music. When it was announced that their next album, "Pop" would be more dance orientated than their previous releases, it didn't bother or surprise me, bearing in mind their dalliance at that time with dance remixes and the "Zooropa" tracks such as "Lemon" & "Numb".

Unfortunately, 1997's "Pop" album was a bit of a disappointment all round, with the band seeming not to have the courage to go through with a total makeover; it sounded a bit "this will have to do" in places (due to them not having the record ready in time for the inital release date) and really only a couple of the tracks fitted into the "dancey" category, "Mofo", "Do You Feel Loved" and the first single, "Discotheque".

But what a opening single. Built around a rumbling Adam Clayton bassline, Larry Mullen Jnr's clattering percussion and the Edge's dirty guitar riff, this single is unlike anything that they released before or since. Bono wanders into "Fly" vocal territory throughout with lyrics faintly alluding to Ecstacy, whilst the track grooves along in a stop start manner - it's a really dense Flood production, with lots of busy layers going on, and one which they've never been able to pull off live. In retrospect, it also sounds like they've been listening a bit too much to "Begging You" by The Stone Roses... (but that's a good thing!)

The single version is the one to go for - the album version isn't quite right, being just not punchy enough, but the single mix (by Mark "Spike" Stent) is right on the nail. Of course, dressing up as the Village People in the video was something some fans have never been able to forgive. It seems as if the band have written this era off as a failure as well, continually trying to redo the tracks and making them worse (see the piss-poor new mixes on "The Best Of 1990 - 2000"). The following albums have seen them revert back to their old ways, almost going back to how they were pre-Rattle & Hum, which is a shame, as they could take more risks but seem to choose not to, having had their fingers burnt in the "Popmart" tour era.

But this was a number one single. Deservedly so in my opinion.

Single Review - Saint Etienne "You're In A Bad Way"

SAINT ETIENNE "You're In A Bad Way"
HEAVENLY HVN 25
Chart Position #12
Released Feb 1993

A fun throwaway SE track which has become a staple of indie discos since. Reworked from the basic version on "So Tough", the single version has the magical credit of "Additional production by Alan Tarney" - the man behind the best A-ha and Cliff Richard singles. His additional keyboard flourishes make this the pop gem it should always have been.

How can you not love a song which opens with:
"Toast is burned, / and your coffee's cold, / and you leave all the post `cause it's nothing but bills again. / Home from work, / put the TV on. / Get your kicks watching Bruce on the old Generation Game"

I've got fond memories as I saw them live for the first time around the time of this release, at Manchester University, supported by a little known group called... Pulp. Also, they did a couple of great appearances on "The Word" and "TOTP" for this single, where they looked fantastic, (well, Sarah did anyway).

Plus it's got 3 of the best additional tracks they've ever done on the CD & 12", with "Archway People", "California Snow Story" and "Duke Duvet", all interspersed with dialogue ala the first two albums ("Spongbake!")

And it was their highest chart position at the time.

Still, the band didn't like it: here they are talking about the track from Melody Maker:

Sarah: It was supposed to be a joke, but Alan McGee said "Brilliant! Got to be an a-side!" And it was our biggest hit.
Bob: He placed this huge millstone around our necks. Placed a huge albatross round our necks. Hahahahahaha! It was a big hit, though, wasn't it?
Pete: Albatross? Yeah, it was Number One.
Bob: No, You're In A Bad Way.
Pete: You're In A Bad Way was our Albatross.
Bob: It was supposed to be a cheesy Herman's Hermits thing, stupid lyrics and that. We wrote it in about ten minutes. We were in a big A-ha phase, and we thought it was going to sound like Cry Wolf, but instead it sounded like...
Pete: Cheese Wolf.
Bob: Oh dear.

Anyway, here's an NME cover from that time and the TOTP appearancea:

Single Review - James "We're Going To Miss You"

JAMES "We're Going To Miss You"
MERCURY CD JIMDD 24
Chart Position # 48

There's more to James than "Sit Down" & flowery t-shirts you know.

By 1998, James had released their "Best Of" and were on a second career high after 5 years of misfortune. However, beneath the surface there were still some in-house creative disagreements over their next move, and the following ironically titled album "Millionaires" was less experimental than before. Although generally well received by critics, it was surprisingly not well received by fans or the general record buying public (nearly always the case once a greatest hits is released - everything afterwards gets ignored). Which is a shame as there's some good stuff on here, the sublime "Just Like Fred Astaire" which we'll get to in due course and this: "We're Going To Miss You".

The album version is quite a dark track and not obvious single material, with a meandering intro. However, the band went back to the studio to rerecorded the track to making it more punchy, with the ever reliable Dave Bascombe on mixing duties for radio friendliness. It's got a superb rousing chorus (I love it when it sounds like all the band is singing together) and brooding verse lyrics which apparently are a spell against anybody wanting to do harm to Mr Booth:

"This is not, this is not, a song / This is a shield, this is a charm, with your name on / By this beat, by this verse, I'm protected / From your heat, and your curse, is reflected / If anybody hurts me"

Read into that what you will. Of course, it bombed, being released in December 1999, when nobody in their right mind would release a track, let alone the third song off an album. And James had only one more (excellent) single and album left in them before Tim Booth left, but I feel that they're a pretty much unappreciated & forgotten band these days and this needs to be rectified, starting here.

Single Review - Air "Surfing On A Rocket"

AIR "Surfing On A Rocket"

single released by Virgin: April 19, 2004

This has been on almost permanent rotation in the car for the last two weeks. Dunno about you, but after the "10000hz Legend" disaster, I wasn't expecting much from Air again. But "Talkie Walkie" was a return to the form that made "Moon Safari" an enduring classic... but this single from that album passed me by at the time. It was only recently on compiling a "Best Of" for the car that I picked up on it.

It contains one of the most gorgeous guitar lines ever (ahh, those minor keys), breathy French vocals (not female but the lads themselves), bizarre lyrics about surfing bombs, some great keyboard noodling in the middle and a sudden ending (always a winner). Nigel (Radiohead) Godrich's production is superb, giving a focus to the song that sometimes the band's own production lacks. It's a chill out track that deserves to be played LOUD.

Singles Reviews - New Order "Fine Time"

This is the first in a series of my own reviews of some of my favourite singles, first posted in the Cookd & Bombd forums, as part of their "Verbwhores 1000 best singles" thread.

Hope you enjoy.

NEW ORDER "Fine Time"

Factory FAC 223-7
Chart pos #11

New Order go to Ibiza and come back with this.

My first reaction to hearing this single on the radio for the first time was “What the fuck….?”. It sounded absolutely mad. Now I’m talking about the 7” version here. Not the album version, which is longer, rearranged with time to breathe. No, the seven inch, which compacts everything into a three-minute package of dance mentalness (which is odd really as you can’t dance to it).

This wasn’t, and still isn’t typical New Order. The track screams in all guns blazing, with Barney’s semi-angry vocal “You’re much toooooo youuuuuuuuung..” over a busy squelchy acid backing (apparently the genre called Balearic, m’lud). There’s no chorus to speak of. A pastiche of a Barry White lurrrrrve monologue (“Oooooohhhhhhh. Sophisticated laydehhhhhhhhh”). A dead stop in the middle of the track. Weird synthesized voices. No trademark Peter Hook bass until the end. And sheep noises. Add a beautiful Peter Saville sleeve (as ever) and Barney doing Bez-type dancing on prime-time TOTP and you’ve got a winner.

We thought that the “Technique” album would be more of the same. It wasn’t, and I’m glad, because this track stands on it’s own as a gem to be cherished. It hasn’t dated because it sounds like nothing around at that time or since. As innovative as “Blue Monday” but it’ll never get the praise. Except here.

Weight Update!

Weigh in this week, and I've lost six pounds, even with having to pig out at V2006. Hurrah.

To celebrate I had a Dominos.

Hmmmm.

V. Wet

We went to the V 2006 Festival at Weston Park last weekend and a jolly time was had. Here's a brief review.

Saturday

Rain.

Rain rain rain rain... rain. Which means mud. We'd been checking the weekend weather forecast over the previous few days, and the enevitable conclusion was that it was going to be wet and muddy. So one trip to Millets later, Celia & I were suitably equipped for the weekend in macs & wellies. The environment was not a prob. This being our third V at Weston Park, we were used to the layout and where everything would be... or were we? Oh no, co this time they'd changed the layout, for the better, and certain stages had moved (we never actually got to the Channel 4 stage all weekend).

After getting our bearings, and some well needed grub down us - hurrah for Giant Yorkshire Puddings with sausages, mash and gravy! - and getting our beer tokens and doing a little shopping (see Celia's groovy top, right) we saw some of Sugababes' set, before retreating to the JJB Tent/Arena to listen to Imogen Heap and then Nerina Pallot who was really good, in a early Sheryl Crow sort of way. More beers and a trip to the Bacardi stage followed - a weird place rammed where the bartenders poured and served your Bacardi drinks in time to the very loud DJ set in the background, whilst the springy floor meant that everybody there was bouncing up and down in time to the beats. As it was so rammed it felt necessary to get doubles - see left.

And still the rain came down - the ground was holding up reasonably well and we didn't care about the rain due to our protective gear. However, we fancied seeing something guaranteed to be good, and Paul Weller on the main stage wasn't doing it for us, him playing shite album tracks when all the crowd wanted was a few singles and some Jam tracks. So back to the JJB to see The Beautiful South. Unfashionable they may be, but boy did that tent rock. SingalongaSouth time with "Rotterdam", "Good As Gold", "You Keep It All In" & "Old Red Eyes Is Back". Fabulous.

We got out in time to see Faithless tearing the main stage apart with their hits, transferring surprisingly well to the live arena and making the place seem like a club. Night drew in, the rain eased slightly, and Morrissey took to the stage for the finale, playing a set comprised mainly of his new album, some recent singles and Smiths classics like "Panic", "Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before" (we didn't), "Girlfriend In A Coma" before rounding off with a fierce "How Soon Is Now". Great stuff for an oldie.

Then the long walk out. What would the next day bring?

Sunday

Sunsheeeeeeeeiiiiiiine.

Yes, no rain today, and no reason to rush to see anybody. We meandered in to hear the end of Kula Shaker, did a little bit of shopping again in one of the clothes stalls, whilst listening to The Magic Numbers in the background, more Yorkshire pud (hurrah again) and beers before settling down to listen to Bloc Party, who were alright but never anything better than background fodder. Over to the JJB for Echo & The Bunnymen, who never let me down, doing a 35 minute set of hits - tremendous stuff. We got sidetracked after this trying to get an inflatable Motorola V3 phone from the area where the promo guys were throwing them into a hungry waiting crowd. It was only thanks to the tenacity of Celia that we managed to wrestle one away from some guy who tried to nick the one I had my grip on. So we had something comfy to sit on, whilst watching Keane and having a beer/breezer .

Then came Beck, and his puppet band, which had to be seen to be believed. It's odd listening to him and then seeing a puppet on the big screen lipsynching to "Devils Haircut". His set meandered to a close before a video was shown of what the puppets had got up to that day (hilarious stuff really) before the man came back with "E-Pro" & "Where It's At". Bloody brilliant.

Then the headliners - Radiohead were as good as ever. No surprises (hah! a pun) as they ran through there most popular stuff, (special note must be made here of the efforts of the sound crew - it sounded crystal clear from wherever you stood - fabulous) before we raced over to the JJB to catch some of Fatboy Slim's set - let's party like it's 1997. The guy's a genius, mixing loads of new stuff like Gorillaz & Gnarls Berkley with his own tracks, and the tent was rocking, with Celia giving loads of rave shapes. Great stuff.

We wandered back out to catch the last bit of Radiohead where they were doing "Karma Police" & a rare outing for "Creep" which drew in many a non-fan like zombies in the night "Urrrrgh... Creep... I know this one....". First time I'd ever heard them do it live as well. And then that was it. Home...

... and our temporary home this weekend was with the fabulous Karen & Stef, who handily live in the nearby village of Shifnal, and who kindly let us stay over the weekend. No camping for us! There's no adequate way of thanking them for putting us up, and for giving their generous time and lifts to and from Weston Park. Oh, and for accompanying us to East End Balti House in Shifnal, for the best curry I've had so far, and staying up drinking until the early hours, watching Modern Toss and for Stef's bacon butties in the morning. Let's not forget the Badger cat in a box.

The Shifnal posse - we salute you!

Who ate all the pies?

It's Monday and it's day three of the diet. Yes, I'm on the old Slimming World so it's green & red days all round. Got to lose a couple of stone. Well, say "got to", I don't actually have to but as I look pregnant at times it's probably best all round. So Celia & I enrolled last Thursday, the big shop was done on Saturday and it's full steam ahead. Cut out the Dominos pizza & chocolate, and keep an eye on the beer. I'm taking my lead from Celia as she did so well last time, and kept most of it off, so I've got a role model and someone to make sure I don't cheat. Watch this space for updates. Hopefully, by November i'll be a bit thinner, but we'll see. Greebo cat is also on the diet as he weighs a stone. He's a little barrel. So it's a cutback on the biscuits for him.