And so we headed down the M65 and reached Burnley and the venue - not what I'd expected. Next to the Town Hall, it looked a bit quaint, and we were shocked to be able to park for free right outside. We were running a bit late and listening to Five Live on the way we heard Barcelona had scored already in the first half. Not good. So after picking the tickets up from the box office we sidled into the venue's bar "The Press Room" which was quiet and happened to have the match on.
Not much I can say about it really. After ten minutes and the first goal we weren't in the game, and when it went to 2-0 the game was truly up. Even the goal scoring might of Ronaldo, Rooney, Tevez and Berbatov couldn't come up with any answers. This was not to be a repeat of 1999. Barcelona controlled the match and were the better team. They deserved it, United didn't really turn up, and it wasn't a classic match in any way. Barcelona did enough to win, and no more - let's face it, it wasn't needed. No doubt we can cue the Scousers who had disappeared from the face of the Earth two weeks ago, who'll crawl out from underneath their rocks to start making jokes, strangely forgetting that they have won nothing this year and are living in the past again (well, it's nicer for them there). Still, 25 games unbeaten in the Champions League is nothing to be ashamed about.
Enough of the football, what about the gig? Well, this small venue played host to the ever excellent Mr Izzard, honing material for his big tour later in the year with late night gigs whilst campaigning for the forthcoming European Elections next week. What was planned to be an hour long gig became a hilarious 105 minute trek through the weird and wonderful mind of Eddie. Coming onstage at 10:45 to a capacity audience, the off-duty transvestite (for it was a casual shirt and jeans combo tonight) regaled the crowd with a journey through the history of the world, the birth of language, religion and with sidesteps along the way covering:
- jazz chickens,
- PTSD squirrels,
- what Einstein would think about Apple Mac download time estimates,
- beekeepers,
- balloon cats,
- stoned assassins (or "assashins") assembling Dysons instead of rifles,
- why there can be no Dinosaur's Got Talent,
- the non-existence of God and if he did exist he would live in fog,
- why Noah's Ark wouldn't work,
- how do Giraffes warn other Giraffes about approaching tigers (they cough apparently),
- the Bayeux Tapestry and why the weavers were the equivalent of papparazzi nowadays,
- if Rod Hull and Emu did Hamlet,
We staggered out at half past midnight (and this was a truncated set!!), grinning inanely after witnessing a comic genius back at the top of his game. See him later this year if you can.
A night of two halves really.
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