POSTCARDS FROM THE HEDGE: "Never ever have I ever felt so low..." When Bands Get Back Together

"After much speculation, Parlophone has confirmed today that All Saints are no longer part of label’s roster".

After much internet gossip and rumours, Parlophone records have dropped All Saints like a hot brick.

"The group, who reformed in November, enjoyed Top 10 success with their comeback single Rock Steady. However, the momentum was not enough to drive album interest, with the associated set "Studio 1", only managing a lowly debut at 40."

The group had a Top 10 hit with the only real obvious single from their album; the single although promoted heavily by the band was only in the charts for a few weeks and the accompanying album was buried by Parlophone as it was released slap bang in the run up to Christmas and thus never stood a chance.

"A second single, Chick Fit, also failed to perform, failing to crack to top 200 last week."

A second single, Chick Fit, was sneaked out by the record company in digital format only with minimal publicity, and unsurprisingly, failed to reach the top 200.

"In Parlophone’s official statement the label said, “Parlophone Records and All Saints have made the mutual decision to part company. Both the label and the group are proud of the album Studio 1. All Saints are excited about moving forward with their career and Parlophone wishes them the best of luck.”

In other words, Parlophone got severe cold feet after their marketing cockup over "Studio 1", and wanted to cut their losses as soon as possible. Now please leave the building.

All joking aside, comebacks are not an easy thing to do. Ask Jesus. But careful planning can circumnavigate many obstacles. Look at Take That. They calculatingly reintroduced themselves into the nation's consciousness via a "Where Are They Now?" type documentary, then when the public's nostalgia chip is triggered, announced a comeback tour with the prospect of new material if that went well.

All Saints failed because:
1) they didn't build up any demand for a comeback - why no live dates? Did anybody really want them to reform? Did anybody miss them when they spilt?
and
2) Marketing. There really must be some cackhanded people working in this department. Parlophone released the album far too early (they should have waited until after the second single) and also as I said, at the wrong time of year. Nobody in their right mind wants to be bringing out NEW material in the first week of December - the shelves are clogged up with Greatest Hits albums and novelties. Also, the promo video for the "Rock Steady" single didn't play on one of the features that made them so successful first time round - their looks. Good for them you say, let the music speak, but let's by honest, sex sells, and to not play a little on this in their video is foolish. Would Kylie have been as big again without the hotpants? Debatable. And look at any of the music channels, even during the day. Christ if I was a 13 year old now watching all those almost semi-porno videos, I'd be walking round with a permanent hard-on.

"Some filth on TV earlier today"

And anyway, we've still got Sugababes so we don't actually need All Saints. Sorry. No vacancy.

So Mel, Shaznay, and the other two are the first casualty of the big musical comebacks of 2007. Yes, if you hadn't noticed, this year's trend seems to be to reform and make a comeback. So far we have:
James, Genesis, The Police, Crowded House, Take That, Happy Mondays (again), Wet Wet Wet, Smashing Pumpkins, Jesus & Mary Chain, Rage Against The Machine, Van Halen. Even Right Said Fred. Honest.

Van Halen looks to be on ice as Eddie's in rehab. Once popular East 17 tried to come back and nobody gave a toss. Ditto Five who didn't get past the press conference they organised that nobody turned up to.

Why do bands do it? What possesses them? It's usually financial, rarely artistic. Let's examine the phenomenon.

There are those bands that never really split up in the first place. Genesis probably come under that category, as they carried on when Phil Collins left, but Ray "Stiltskin" Wilson was no replacement and they never made another album with him, and have been on hiatus. They've nothing to promote, don't need the money, and seem to be doing it because they want to, despite Collins' hearing problems.

The Police also never split officially (hmmm), they just didn't put out another album or tour again. But they could be classed in another category, the "we all fell out now we're friends again (at least for the purposes of contractual obligations and anyway you've got to pay the rehab fees somehow)". Now, at least they are reconvening for an actual occasion, being their 30th Anniversary, and seem to have put their troubles behind them. Of course the shitload of cash that both The Police & Genesis will be getting for these tours is a motivating factor. I'd have loved to see them, but the ticket prices are just getting silly. £50 for a bad seat? Greedy bastards.

Another case in point are James, a favorite of Celia and I. We were there at their last Manchester gig back in 2001, and then they were no more, as singer Tim Booth wanted to explore other avenues. They were meant to continue with another singer but nothing happened. Tim Booth meanwhile did some acting and released a great solo album. Spin on to 2007, and it's announced that James are getting back together, this time because the original members got together and started jamming in a room, and decided to have another go at this pop star malarkey. A short tour sells out immediately following announcement, and a new Greatest Hits album is prepared for release around the same time, along with new material and festival dates. The whole thing seems to have been planned rather meticulously, almost too professionally - the sold out tour indicates there's a demand there from fans, whether they'll pick up any new fans is another thing. We don't care, we're just pleased to see them back again.

Then there's the "solo material isn't doing as well, we might as well put the band together and sell it as new product from the band" syndrome. Crowded House had a very healthy career and sold shed loads of records, and then Neil Finn decided to go solo, so the band split with a very emotional farewell gig at Sydney Opera House in 1996. Now Neil has had a reasonably successful solo career since, with a cult following of chin-stroking MOJO readers, gigging constantly but has not been massive commercially. So when the remaining ex-members got back together again after drummer Paul Hester's death to help out on Finn's latest solo album, they all decided that , as to all intents and purposes the material they were recording was a Crowded House album, so why not release it under the Crowded House moniker? Welcome back, anyway.

There's also the barrel scrapers. The Jam were one of the most important bands of the late 70's and early 80's, and when Paul Weller spilt the band up he went on to a successful career with The Style Council and solo. The other two, Bruce Foxton & Rick Buckler respectively went onto playing with Stiff Little Fingers and undertaking furniture restoration as a career. So when a new Jam tour is announced without Weller, you have to think "Why?" It's like the Stones without Jagger. Apparently Weller was invited to join the tour, but has declined to answer the invitation. Oh what a surprise. Still the tour dates are selling out, so who am I to criticize? As bad are INXS, who have a new singer and are touring this year. No Hutchence, no INXS.
I blame the Pixies. They split acrimoniously in the nineties, then ten years later somehow managed to kiss and make up, and reunite in style in 2004 for a very lucrative world tour, where they made more money than they did the first time round, and actually made it okay for an alternative rock band to get back together again and cash in. There was no shame in it. Inspiral Carpets did the same. Both were excellent live, if a little plumper round their stomachs.

That's where we are now. There's two camps - those who made it big first time round and made stackloads of cash and want to do it again and make stackloads more cash, and those who made it big first time and spunked it away for whatever reason, and now want the cash pay out they never got the first time.

Good luck to them all I say, even to All Saints as they try to promote their "Studio 1" album around Europe without Parlophone's "help". It's funny, but when I was younger I'd see these bands reforming and think "Urrgh, pack it in, you old bastards and give the new young bands a chance. you're past it." Now I see those same now-not-so-young bands still chipping away at the pop coalface, and I think, "good for you, why not?"