I'd love it if Kevin Keegan came back to Football, love it

Watching football on television these days is not as much fun as it used to be, mainly because the standard of pundit is so average and bland. Rarely now do we have the utterly banal and stupid comments from so called experts who would rarely engage their brain before their mouths. Ever since Big Ron Atkinson's supposed off air racist comments about Marcel Desailly, the average commentary team are as vanilla as they come.

Even most managers after-match comments are dull these days, knowing as they do that any slightly stupid or controversial comment would be pounced upon by either the media or the FA, so it's only right at this time that we pay homage to a past master of inanity, who's incisive analysis of "the Beautiful Game" was as good as his ability to manage a team.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present... the sadly missed serial quitter Kevin Keegan.

There's no better way to celebrate the career of a man who once uttered "Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders," than by looking at some of his finest oratories. Enjoy...

"People will say that was typical City, which really annoys me. But that's typical City, I suppose..."

"If I had a blank piece of paper there'd be five names on it."

"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none."

"By the end Asprilla was knackered-o. I think that's the Spanish for it."

"They're the second best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that."

"I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different."

"He's using his strength and that is his strength, his strength."

"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw."

"The tide is very much in our court now."

"The ref was vertically 15 yards away."

"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different"

"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game".

"He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted."

"One of his strengths is not heading".

"Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice."

"There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight."

"The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today."

"That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong."

"It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney."

"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg."

"It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card."

"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time."

"The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it."

'There are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion...'

"Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties."

"The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful."

"That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved."

"He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field."

"Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa".

"You need 88 points for the title and we’ve got 61 at present with 16 games to go, but if you set targets you limit yourself".

"Well, if that's true then it would be a big surprise, but then nothing surprises me in football these days."

"We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine".

And the single defining moment of his career, his aftermatch interview with SKY when Sir Alex Ferguson wound him up good and proper resulting in Newcastle's bid for title glory going tits up, here complete and uncut in all its glory:

"When you do that with footballers, like he said about Leeds... I've kept really quiet, but I'll tell you something, he went down in my estimations when he said that. We have not resorted to that, but I'll tell you, you can tell him now, he'll be watching this, we're still fighting for this title. He's got to go to Middlesbrough and get something. I'll tell you honestly, I would love it if we beat them, love it."