A Nation Weeps. Not.

Pop twat and professional oxygen thief Jay Kay has admitted he is "giving up music" after "getting bored of touring" with his jazzwank combo Jamiroquai.

The Stevie Wonder impressionist singer has claimed he is sick of the industry, despite recently breaking the world record for the highest and lamest gig after performing in a Boeing 757, 35,000ft in the air.

And Jay Kay, who has somehow sold over 27 million records worldwide, some of which sound different from each other, says that he is now interested in meeting a "good woman" and having kids. As opposed to being an absolute bastard to women and acting like a kid as he seems to have done before.

Speaking to the Daily Mirror at the mile-high gig, Kay, older brother of light entertainer Peter, admitted he hasn't been happy for a while. He said: "I haven't been happy for a while." He added: "I've had some ups and downs but in the end the downs were just too many. When we talked about me leaving, I jumped at the chance." Pity he didn't jump out of the plane door.

The singer, famed for his love of fast cars, stupid bloody headgear and acting like a big hairy cock, added: "I'm bored. I don't want to go back on the road. We all need a rest to be honest. I don't need the money or a deal. Honest."

He threatened: "I might be back if I get my inspiration again, but who knows?"

He then departed leaving us with this trademark twatty statement: "All I'm going to do now is fly my helicopter and look for the right lady to have children with".

Kay during happier times, hitting a photographer who was in fact trying to take a photo of Lindsay Lohan. Not him.

None of this is a spin on the fact that due to him being long past his commercial peak of the mid 90's, his record company Sony chose NOT to renew his long standing contract, which ended recently with the obligatory contractual Greatest Hits compilation just in time for Xmas (a record incidentally he had a right good whinge about them releasing, despite it earning him a fat wad of cash. Knob).

All I know is that contrary to his hit single of the same name, if I ever stumbled across him in the street he'd soon realise that he isn't "Too Young To Die".

An emotional crowd reacts to the news

Next time: Jamie Oliver and why he should have his head forced through school railings and be force fed Turkey Twizzlers by council house mums with tattoos.